A Swiss before dying

As of the time of this writing, he is dead. Raise a glass, cheer, be happy. No, I’m not referring to someone awful. I’m referring to a respected Scientist from Australia, Dr. David Goodall. And why are we to cheer? Because he wanted this.


No joke on this one. Farewell Doctor.

Dr. Goodall died listening to Beethoven, by his own choice, as he wished. Now to the part that isn’t cheerful. People actually fight against this. Physician assisted death is illegal almost everywhere. Dr. Goodall had to travel to Switzerland from Australia to exercise his will, because… well, actually no good reason at all. (I know the movie reference pun of a kiss before dying is extremely dated and old, but so was Dr. Goodall.)

Even where it is legal, there are some restrictions that don’t make sense. Canada has legalized it, but have made a number of restrictions that do not account for life long disability, loss of cognitive function, (pre-declared intent) or just Like the good Dr, getting old and not having any quality of life anymore.

Why? because… NO ACTUAL REASON THAT MAKES SENSE. And yes, I was shouting there. Because the three arguments against self-determined death are all horrible. The first is predictable. “Who are we to play God.”


Respect life! Oh, the person? Who gives a shit about that as long as they don’t die in a manner of their own choosing!

We can immediately dismiss that nonsense. I don’t care what your “God” thinks. so moving on. The next is the “People will coerce people to die for their own gain!” First, I want to know what kind of sick mind you have if this is the first thing that pops in to your head. And second, properly legislated and administered right-to-die medical care would catch that shit. People who argue this act like people are going to be pushing old people to the hospital in wheelchairs and the doctor will put them down like a horse with a broken leg, no questions asked.


Grandma stopped putting money in my card. No use for her, now.

The last of the primary arguments made is the slippery slope argument. Which is awesome because it’s one of the few times they actually NAME the logical fallacy they are using, and are unaware of the irony. They argue that if terminal people will want to die then disabled people may want to die then people with ingrown toenails may want to die. I am deliberately being absurd, because it’s absurd argument. One thing they stick to is depression, and people just dying because they feel sad. First, fuck you, that’s not what depression is. And two, if you think clearly enough, the primary reason people take their own life due to mental illness is because they NEVER SEEK TREATMENT. (Yes. I’m yelling again.) Imagine having legislation that caught all these people who fell so depressed they can’t go on and their illness is identified and treated? Suicides due to mental illness would go way DOWN.

Not one single reason has ever been forwarded that indicates people should not be able to choose a merciful, peaceful end to suffering, or debilitating incurable conditions that steals any quality of life. And like always, the argument is divided along the political lines.


Turn left.  Left. If you turn right you end up in a one way dead end.


This is a basic human right. Not a political football. Fuck anyone who says otherwise. Mercy and empathy resides with choice.


Pictured here: not merciful and painless.

Smartassicus out. (Just on this piece. I haven’t made THAT choice yet.)

What a Chunt

Let’s start by this piece by saying if there is anyone who feels that no animal should ever be killed at any time for any reason this piece will not be fun for you. The exits are here, here, here, and here, thank you for flying Smartassicus air.

We have in our world a sickness. That sickness is trophy hunting. Hunting for the purpose of no more than posing with an animal you shot, or cutting off it’s head to hang on the wall. To me, it’s not really the action of a balanced mind. I don’t hunt. I don’t need to, and I am not interested in hunting for game meat. But I have absolutely no issue with hunting for those purposes. Some consider it barbaric, but I wonder how it really compares to life in an enclosure being fattened up and then killed for food, compared to natural life with an albeit sudden end.

Now, addressing the hunting of animals, A lot of the time we are in a situation where human encroachment on habitat and destruction of natural predator populations have created untenable overpopulation problems.


Excuse us. The next human crossing will be at 7:52 AM.

Conservation agencies in North America are in place to determine the population issues, and to issue the appropriate number of “tags” for hunting. These are depending on area, or species, purchased, with funds typically going towards the conservation efforts. The issue is that natural predators were hunted to near extinction because sheep in a pen are a whole fuck ton easier to catch than Bambi. A natural way to deal with population control would be the reintroduction of natural predator species at the correct amount. But we can’t put that toothpaste back in the tube. Our expansion into natural habitats only increased, and now it will be your cat as a meal. The same problems would exist on a grander scale.

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Yes, this is your fault, humans. Pass the Cornish Rex, please.

Ok. Fine. but that doesn’t mean that like, Trophy hunting of lions and things is ever good right?

Um… technically no. It takes a sick mind to want to go and shoot one of these incredible, and often endangered animals just to plop your fat, stupid ass down to get a picture of you sweating butter in the African sun next to the animal you shot from a jeep. Because of this disgusting desire, a lot of “canned hunt” operations exist where animals are bred in captivity and then are shot by sociopathic shitheads for large sums of money. They are basically shooting giant house cats and getting boners from it. There is absolutely nothing positive about this. Everyone involved is human filth.

But there are some hunts that aren’t the same. Yes. It uses the same greasy awful motherfuckers who have a sick desire to shoot majestic creatures just because they can. But it serves a purpose. There are areas where controlled hunts are permitted on a limited basis. It is carefully curated by the gamekeepers. And I won’t quote exact details as they operate differently, but frequently old and infirm are the animals that are hunted.

Why? Poachers. Poachers kill to fuel the illicit market. They have no care for conservation, and will kill the last of a species to make money. So what does that have to do with letting dumbfucks shoot at animals? Proceeds for conservation to combat poaching. As counterintuitive as it is, there are cases where allowing limited trophy hunting is benefiting the species.

Now you may argue that it’s just wrong. The funds should be just raised without the hunts. I’m all for it. Except it doesn’t happen. Nobody thinks about giving money for the conservation of endangered species. That’s hyperbole, but nowhere near enough resources are gathered simply by the goodwill of people.


Good and bad are never equal in weight. Trump weighs at least 310.

It absolutely blows that conservation groups are having to use the absolute worse of the worst human beings to get what they need to fight against the extinction of the species. It shouldn’t be that way. But it simply IS that way. There is no absolute on the matter, it’s a horrific practice by pond scum in safari pants, that is currently funding the possible salvation of animals that could disappear without it. The alternative is banning all hunts and potentially watching poachers finishing off species one by one.

Nobody said it was easy. It makes me sick to kill for the fun of killing. It really does take a special kind of despicable to want to do it.

For now, it may just have to be tolerated for the greater good. Although go ahead and hate the motherfuckers. They deserve it.

Smartassicus out.

Tape it to make it legal

Disclaimer:  In the following piece I do not propose to speak for the people I am speaking about.  I do not intend to group or classify them a ubiquitous entity, they are each unique, autonomous human beings.  This is a work of opinion.

So… Stormy Daniels, hey?  Big news, isn’t it?  An adult film star sleeping with the Cheeto. Scandalous! Titillating! (Use of pun intended or not dependant on if you think it’s funny.)  And totally disgusting.

What? no.  Not her.  Not what she does.  The only thing I find off about her is her taste in men.  What’s vile is the way that people have spoken about her since the story broke.  Slut. Hooker. Whore.  And it’s not limited to the right-wing trying to discredit her.  It’s also invective being used by opponents of Trump to make HIM look bad. (he doesn’t need the help, folks.)  Liberal, “progressive” people saying things like, and I direct quote:  Raw-dogging a porn star.

This piece is not about Stormy.  She is just an example of the vitriol society has towards sex work.  It’s about the utter hypocrisy that is displayed across political spectrums.


Let’s start with the obvious.  Pornography.  I’m not going to debate the merits of porn.  I am not interested in arguing about who watches it, why, etcetera. (WOMEN WATCH PORN.)  What’s fascinating about it is that it’s legal.  It is the exchange of money for a service.  Being compensated for sexual services.  What makes it legal?   Recording it and selling it.  Yet sex work is criminalized.  the only difference is recording it.

Now in what fucking universe does that make sense?  (Ha. Fucking.)  No, this isn’t an invitation for the puritans to start an anti-porn argument.



Which would be odd, they seemed to be in to some pretty public kink.


When it comes right down to it, sex work is perfectly legal as long as you record it in some fashion, be it photographs or video.  The hypocrisy is that there are an uncountable number of people who have no issue with porn, watch porn, think nothing of the legality of porn… yet are opposed to sex work.  They are adamantly opposed to a woman using bodily autonomy for income. (unless they get to watch a video of it I suppose.)  you can type in to google any particular type of porn you’d like to watch and get results.  It’s as if the sex being broadcast changes it from sex work to something entirely different.


Used SFW to not show unwanted nudity.  Now I’m getting emails from cookie fetishists.


This is the part where it get’s tricky.  Because I want to raise my voice in unison with sex workers.  I want to be on their side, but run the risk of misrepresenting individuals in sex work whose attitudes or opinions differ than mine.  I hope that any who read this would challenge anything I say that is not ok. I write this from a place of privilege and can easily misfire.

But the reality is that pretty much every anti-sex work argument is based on fear mongering, myth, and outright lies.  People argue that it fuels human trafficking.  The opposite is true.  The criminalization of sex work leads to criminalized operations.  When it’s illicit, the unscrupulous monsters will swoop in.  Predation on underage women is not a sex work issue, it’s a pedophile issue, and must be addressed entirely separately. (this is also not an issue of gender, as sex workers come in all gender expressions.) Kid diddlers aren’t going to stop when legal consenting adults operate as sex workers.

Likewise, Sex workers are not responsible for your marriage.  They aren’t making your spouse or partner cheat.  I don’t know how many times I’ve seen the argument that because it’s available, it’s at fault. This is one of the most specious arguments, and stop blaming a sex worker for your lousy partner.  I have heard there are some workers that won’t even provide service to someone if they suspect they are married.  Who’s the immoral one?

Sex workers choose to be sex workers.  Yes.  There are examples where people have turned to sex work as a last resort.  Just like people will take any job that they don’t want but have to put food on the table.  The fact that it is sex work is irrelevant to the reality that frequently (and when it comes down to it, most of us) do things we aren’t enthusiastic about to pay the bills.  But that doesn’t mean sex workers aren’t happy with sex work.  I have befriended a number of people in the business of sex work on twitter, and the prevailing attitude is they like what they do.  The things they hate are bad clients, judgmental shitheads, and people who try to barter a deal.  Not the work they chose for themselves.

Sex workers DO NOT SELL THEIR BODIES.  They provide a service that uses their body.  So does your masseuse, chiropractor or physiotherapist, house painters, plumbers and so forth.  Society differentiates because it’s sex.  Not because it’s work.  And it’s the underlying hypocrisy about sex that is the issue.


You loved Pretty Woman but turn your nose up at this.  I see you.


Sex workers do not all operate the same.  They are not cold-hearted profit seekers with no regard for people.  That’s us regarding them.  Not the other way around.  I can’t speak for all sex workers in this regard.  The only thing I can do is speak my own experiences.

First is the interactions with sex workers who I have befriended online.  They have all been caring, wonderful people.  I do try to remember that they need space and time management because they are working with clients, primarily.  But that isn’t unlike me not bothering my friend at work when he has a work deadline.  Peel away the preconceived judgements about sex workers, and SURPRISE! They are thinking, feeling, people.

But I want to use a deeper example to personalize it.  I am right now in a wonderful relationship.  It wasn’t always so.  I was in a near sexless marriage that came to an end.  Despite the lack of physical affection I received,  I remained faithful. (at least physically.  Pornhub probably had my family history.)  After the break up, I desired sex.  Not abnormal.  But the thought of the bar scene turned my stomach.  One, I wasn’t sure I wanted another relationship EVER.  That changed. But at the time I felt like, fuck it, I’m done.  But I also didn’t want to be a user.  I am not condemning casual sex.  I have had sex with people who had no realistic future of a relationship, the key being it was not a misleading attempt to dangle a relationship so you can get some sex.  It was two adults who had regard and care for each other that chose physical expression and that’s just fine.

But I am appalled by (mostly) men who play the I want a relationship game and then ghost when they get their rocks off.  That is not the person I want to be.  I hate these men with the fire of a thousand suns. (do NOT “not all men” me. I’ll spit on your sneakers.)  So I sought the services of a sex worker. Twice.

Was it ideal for me?  No, for FULL enjoyment for me I require a deeper connection with the person, but the experiences were not negative.  I chose not to use the back page classifieds, because there are no assurances that I wouldn’t be fueling an abused person.  The symptom of illicit sex work in the first place.  I chose local sex workers.  They were independent, intelligent women who screened, addressed security concerns appropriately.  They were prepared, provided protection, and fully disclosed exactly what their rules were.  (Side note, don’t try to break a rule.  It makes you an asshole.  If it says no kissing, she means it.  No, I didn’t try.  I’m saying don’t be an asshole.) Just like no shirt no shoes no service, you don’t have an excuse to flout it.

One was more businesslike, and was “in charge” of the sexual service.  This was her stipulations.

The other was warmer (although the first was not unpleasant by any means) and was more interested in some get to know along with the service.  There was an awareness of a need for more than just sex, but human contact.  Hugs and conversation before, cuddle and a kiss on the cheek after, and not a rush to get out.  (I do not think someone leaving right away is an issue, it is after all, a business arrangement.)

I differentiate because people just don’t seem to give a fuck that sex workers are complete individuals who run their business as they see fit. It is well past the time where sex work is decriminalized. Yet things like SESTA keep getting forwarded by people who want to maintain archaic moral standards while not living up to them themselves.

Now here’s the parting shot.  Some may have read my experiences and sneered.  Thinking I couldn’t get a woman to sleep with me without paying (I didn’t try.) or that I engaged in immoral behavior (fuck your morals.)  Some may read this and never look at me the same way again.  I don’t give a shit.  If the take away from this is “Oh my god, he had protected, consensual sex with a sex worker instead of leading on someone or engaging in activities I didn’t want to and paid for it, what a scumbag”  you can walk out the door.  I don’t care what you think.  I did the right thing for me, and what I felt was the best thing to avoid anyone being hurt.



Disclaimer: I am not, in fact, a Honey Badger.

But it’s not about me.  It’s about the sex workers who need society to stop treating them like a disease and realize that THEY are the most honest of us, in reality.  To my friends online in the sex work industry,  I beg your indulgence if I missed anything, or spoke an untruth based in ignorance.  My voice is on your side, for what it’s worth.

Smartassicus out.