There is a price to love. A terrible price. it can cost you in so many ways. And the bill can come due unexpectedly.
That price is pain. The one thing that can be certain about loving is that it will at some point, hurt you. This is where I find my partner and I right now, the indescribable pain of love.
Trinity was adopted by my partner. A senior cat when adopted, she was already well along in her life span. And now it is coming to a close. On Thursday in the evening, Trinity will be mercifully euthanized due to health complications. And it hurts. Oh, does it hurt.
For my partner, she is losing a companion who was there at her side during hard times. An affectionate old curmudgeon that purred like an engine, and bit her hair to wake her up in the morning. For me, I am losing a newer friend, but also feeling the pain of watching someone I love beyond all, grieve. There is no way I could not absorb some of the pain. I am with someone who has the character to walk in to a shelter and adopt a cat that everyone else overlooks because of her age. Her pain becomes mine.
And that pain of love is not restricted to pets. The tattoo on my wrist is also a reminder of the pain of love. Dug in to my skin along someone I love dearly as both a reminder to my lost child, but also a reminder of the love my friend and I share, and the pain of almost never seeing each other.
We risk much by loving. In friendships, loving them can lead to the heartbreak of them letting you down when you need them most. It can lead to uneven commitment to relationships. It can even lead to romantic feelings that are unrequited. This is pain.
Within romantic relationships, you only multiple the odds of pain. I have yet to meet a couple that did not have some pain in their partnership. It varies, but the loving of another individual can lead to great sorrow. There can even be pain in a happy relationship. It isn’t about poor relationships, it’s about opening yourself to another person and all that they are. And that leads to the arrows of pain striking many times throughout your relationship.
Love is both voluntary and involuntary. The chemical reactions are beyond our control. The actions, and the commitments, and the fidelity to the boundaries of your relationship are. You can wilfully hurt someone in your relationship by breaking their trust. This is an action where you deliberately cause pain. But you can hurt people when you aren’t trying. Simply by being who you are. Not that you shouldn’t be who you are, it will just cause pain. Know this.
So the question was why do we CHOOSE love?
Because it’s worth it. Love is greater than pain, even when it doesn’t seem so. Real, compassionate, and empathetic love will not seek to harm, even though it can. It will make the right decisions, even if it tears your heart out to do it. Loving and being loved is the best that humanity has to offer.
Love is worth the pain.
This is Smartassicus, signing off for Trinity. You will be missed.