What a Chunt

Let’s start by this piece by saying if there is anyone who feels that no animal should ever be killed at any time for any reason this piece will not be fun for you. The exits are here, here, here, and here, thank you for flying Smartassicus air.

We have in our world a sickness. That sickness is trophy hunting. Hunting for the purpose of no more than posing with an animal you shot, or cutting off it’s head to hang on the wall. To me, it’s not really the action of a balanced mind. I don’t hunt. I don’t need to, and I am not interested in hunting for game meat. But I have absolutely no issue with hunting for those purposes. Some consider it barbaric, but I wonder how it really compares to life in an enclosure being fattened up and then killed for food, compared to natural life with an albeit sudden end.

Now, addressing the hunting of animals, A lot of the time we are in a situation where human encroachment on habitat and destruction of natural predator populations have created untenable overpopulation problems.


Excuse us. The next human crossing will be at 7:52 AM.

Conservation agencies in North America are in place to determine the population issues, and to issue the appropriate number of “tags” for hunting. These are depending on area, or species, purchased, with funds typically going towards the conservation efforts. The issue is that natural predators were hunted to near extinction because sheep in a pen are a whole fuck ton easier to catch than Bambi. A natural way to deal with population control would be the reintroduction of natural predator species at the correct amount. But we can’t put that toothpaste back in the tube. Our expansion into natural habitats only increased, and now it will be your cat as a meal. The same problems would exist on a grander scale.

images (1)

Yes, this is your fault, humans. Pass the Cornish Rex, please.

Ok. Fine. but that doesn’t mean that like, Trophy hunting of lions and things is ever good right?

Um… technically no. It takes a sick mind to want to go and shoot one of these incredible, and often endangered animals just to plop your fat, stupid ass down to get a picture of you sweating butter in the African sun next to the animal you shot from a jeep. Because of this disgusting desire, a lot of “canned hunt” operations exist where animals are bred in captivity and then are shot by sociopathic shitheads for large sums of money. They are basically shooting giant house cats and getting boners from it. There is absolutely nothing positive about this. Everyone involved is human filth.

But there are some hunts that aren’t the same. Yes. It uses the same greasy awful motherfuckers who have a sick desire to shoot majestic creatures just because they can. But it serves a purpose. There are areas where controlled hunts are permitted on a limited basis. It is carefully curated by the gamekeepers. And I won’t quote exact details as they operate differently, but frequently old and infirm are the animals that are hunted.

Why? Poachers. Poachers kill to fuel the illicit market. They have no care for conservation, and will kill the last of a species to make money. So what does that have to do with letting dumbfucks shoot at animals? Proceeds for conservation to combat poaching. As counterintuitive as it is, there are cases where allowing limited trophy hunting is benefiting the species.

Now you may argue that it’s just wrong. The funds should be just raised without the hunts. I’m all for it. Except it doesn’t happen. Nobody thinks about giving money for the conservation of endangered species. That’s hyperbole, but nowhere near enough resources are gathered simply by the goodwill of people.


Good and bad are never equal in weight. Trump weighs at least 310.

It absolutely blows that conservation groups are having to use the absolute worse of the worst human beings to get what they need to fight against the extinction of the species. It shouldn’t be that way. But it simply IS that way. There is no absolute on the matter, it’s a horrific practice by pond scum in safari pants, that is currently funding the possible salvation of animals that could disappear without it. The alternative is banning all hunts and potentially watching poachers finishing off species one by one.

Nobody said it was easy. It makes me sick to kill for the fun of killing. It really does take a special kind of despicable to want to do it.

For now, it may just have to be tolerated for the greater good. Although go ahead and hate the motherfuckers. They deserve it.

Smartassicus out.

2 thoughts on “What a Chunt

  1. I (as a vegevoire) agree with virtually everthing you’ve said. There was a priest who got harassed for suggesting that instead of euthanizing millions of animals (cats&dogs) to instead let people (for whom it is culturally acceptable) consume them. I agreed with him, much to the horror of others. Let their deaths acct for something.

    • That is an angle I didn’t consider. And yes, it makes sense.

Leave a Reply