Are you happy? What makes you happy?  Do you know what happy even is? I don’t think you do.  I don’t think any of us does.  Because it’s an elusive concept that ties contentment, feeling good, and lack of sadness to each other, which I think is like making a Strawberry pie with steak crust and vinegar ice cream.  It just doesn’t really go together.  Each flavour is fine by itself, and you can have them all in one meal.  But don’t make a dish out of it. (Extremely important note, if you suffer from Depression, some or all of the rest of this may apply to you.  Depression is not your fault.  Links to resources will be available at the end of this entry.)


Here’s the reality.  Happiness is not a natural state.  The great philosopher Deadpool once said:  “You might want to leave the room.  I bet it feels huge in this hand.”  (actually not the line I was meaning to use, but as a side note, now you know why Donald Trump has such a high opinion of himself.


Don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t…. aaaaaaaaarrrrrrgh!


“Actually the quote I was going for was “Here’s the thing. Life is an endless series of train wrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness.”


He said a lot of funny shit.  And deadpool 2 is coming out. ZOMG.  ok.  I digress.

Deadpool is kind of right, don’t you think? When is the last time you had an extended period of happiness?  Well, that depends on how you define happiness.  And I think that is one of the huge mistakes we make, particularly as western nations.  We pursue happiness like a drug.  But we aren’t looking for “happy” so much as we are euphoria.  We mistake the giddy rush of excitement, or romance, or thrill as happiness. Well, if you want to STAY happy if those are your guidelines, you are going to exhaust yourself chasing the feeling. And like drugs, you tend to need more and more to get the same feeling.  Soon enough the thrills that mad you “happy” don’t do it for you any more and you need to find another endorphin rush.  Add to that, the variables of what make people euphoric are so varied that pinpointing any methods for it are just fucking impossible.


Jerry really got a rush from the powdered donut orgy.  His twin Terry did not.

Smiles are not our default.  Neither really is frowns or tears.  Our default human emotion without stimulus is neutrality.  (with obvious variance, some people just wake up cheerful and are sunny right up until they go to bed.  We all hate them.)  Take a person receiving no stimulus whatsoever and this is the result.  Resting bitch face.  Although I hate that term because just because you don’t go around grinning like a clown on uppers, doesn’t mean it’s “bitch face.”  tomi-lahren-1483991023.jpg


Exceptions apply. Tomi Lahren has bitch face. With any  expression. Because She’s a bitch.


No, and if you’ll excuse my back to back pictures, I’m just talking about neutral expressions.


To be fair, Ms. Stewart could be experiencing one of her emotions. she has 3.

My partner said to me, in a moment of deep thought “Do you ever feel completely alone in this world?”  Kind of strange thing for someone to say to their partner, right?  Nope.  Because my answer was yes, just like her.  We derive happiness from good relationships of course, but there is a part of us that no person, no matter how much they care about you and vice versa, can touch.  There is an inner you immune to the charms of those that love you.  That is the lonely spot, the deep private zone in all of us where we find ourselves in the company of only our own thoughts.  We are very happy together yet don’t FEEL happy all the time,

So what does this all mean?  Don’t consult a dictionary. defines Happiness as “being in a happy state.”  Fuck you very much,  That doesn’t help at all. This brings us back to Deadpool.  He said train wrecks. That might be accurate.  Or, at times, it may not be that bad at times, so it’s merely drudgery.  For the average person 95% of life is just doing the things you have to.  If you are deliriously content with that, you are one of very few.

It comes down to  putting up with the show so you can enjoy the commercials. Kind of like the Superbowl.  You aren’t going to manage endless happiness.  Chasing thrills will burn you out, and probably leave you unsatisfied.  Don’t let the mistake of excitement of happiness take over your life, or you’re going to have a really bad time.

and for fuck sakes, don’t smile unless you want to.



Rejected clockwork orange torture device


Depression Resources as promised:


Worldwide suicide hotlines

Tips for dealing with Depression

Depression is not your fault

Smartassicus out.  writing this made me “happy.” now I have to do dishes, and it’s gone.

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