No, I didn’t spell it wrong.  I wanted to write a little piece of the mockery of Democracy.  Or to Mock democracy.  Or to deMock demoracy.  I’m getting confused so I’ll just get to it. Before I begin, I want to make note that I’m not specifically speaking of any one nation.  I will point out a few issues in a few nations, but the purpose is the entire concept of democracy.


On face value, democracy seems awesome.  everyone gets their say!  All voices are heard!  everyone is equal and…  that’s entirely bullshit.



Don’t worry. most people don’t count.  It’s not just you.

The reality is, in most democratic electoral systems, it isn’t one vote one person equality.  In the US, you have the electoral college.  (yes I know how it works, yes, I know that America is a Republic and Yes, I know despite getting 3 million fewer votes, Trump won.  I just think it’s really fucking lame.)  The leadership of the nation is decided by STATES, not people.  If Florida went red by ONE vote, the whole state goes to the Republican nominee.  This is predictably stupid.  Likewise, the Senate is decided by state representatives, and it will always lean Republican, because red states stay red.  You have a population that is majority center or left of center, and a system that aids the minority.  It is a recipe for gridlock and obstructionism and polarized slap fights.  it’s dysfunctional as fuck.


People voting in booths

You can tell who they are voting for based on their shoes. from left to right, R,D,BERNIE,R, D.

But they aren’t the only nation with problems.  the UK and Canada and Australia use various iterations of the parliamentary system.  Typically in this system you don’t even vote for your leader as a nation, it is chosen within the party.  You are voting party instead of representative.  (although you are voting for a representative at the ballot box.)  The reality is it doesn’t matter if the person of your party choice is a lazy ass and the candidate of an opposing party is a diligent hardworking individual.  People tend to make their choices based on the party they want to win the election.  So it’s a sham having people’s names on the ballot.  We ordinarily don’t give a fuck who it is.

Add to that,  Many in America complain that a two-party system sucks and there should be other options (there are, you can piss your vote away on anyone you want, who won’t get elected) but they don’t understand the multi-party problems.  For a long time, a Conservative government was in power.  With 40 odd percent of the support of the nation.  Because there are so many parties the vote gets split.  There are 5 major parties in Canada alone (although only 3 that anyone takes completely seriously right now) and Canada, a fundamentally left leaning country, was governed by the right for a dozen years because of vote splitting.

Go back even a little further, and because of the way seats are divided among provinces, we had a period of time where Quebec separatists were the official opposition party.  That’s beyond insane, but that’s how the system works.

So then you think “well, let’s have DIRECT democracy.  Every issue voted on by the population directly!  That sounds so…  ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?

Referendums are an example of direct democracy.  Australia had one on the legalization of Same-sex marriage.  Let’s forget for a second that the mere thought of basic human rights being voted on is an abomination, and congratulate Australia for at least having enough yes votes to stop the bigots.  (It’s ok to vote no… to being a decent human being.)

Brexit is another example.  People voting in the UK as to whether or not to separate from the European union.  An example of xenophobic white people and a collection of people who really don’t know what they’re talking about voting against the best interests of their nation because something something immigration.


(It’s also the continuation of the tradition of the Scots being fucked over by the English)


And in Ireland there is a battle over the 8th Amendment.  Where the reproductive rights of women will be voted on by the entire populace.  Which makes total sense, right?  An issue that affects only women of childbearing age, being decided by a group of people that includes roughly half men, and a portion of women who are beyond pregnancy years.  It’s a matter where the minority who it affects are outnumbered greatly by those who it doesn’t.  I can’t fathom why women’s reproductive rights should be voted on by this guy.


old man

Been awhile since my genitals worked but I want to stop women from deciding on theirs.

So direct democracy is kind of fucked up too.

Now let’s go in to magic land and pretend they found a way to make it completely fair with no gaps in the system and no shift one way or the other:

you still have completely uninformed people voting.  Reality has absolutely nothing to do with the process.  Single issue voters account for a large portion of populations.  There are red states that vote based on Jesus and ‘bortion. It’s the reason the tangerine shitgibbon is president.  People would rather vote for insanity than give up on their one or two main ideological points.  Everyone gets to vote (except children, felons, and those that have been systematically and deliberately disenfranchised, of course.)  You have a vapid, ill-informed populace making decisions that they know nothing about.


Try not to be too depressed that your vote counts the same as his.


Any system that would weed out the completely uninformed from voting would be undemocratic.  Say, a civics test.  Or even the dementia test that The Donald took.  It would disenfranchise people.  But systems that allow empty heads on meat sacks to vote, you have blithering morons casting votes. Is there a solution? No, not really.  Well, the extinction of mankind.  But we’d have to have a referendum on that.

This is Smartassicus, endorsing GIANT METEOR 2020.

Now set aside the absolute nihilism my writing has caused, and for fuck sake, get out there and vote.


2 thoughts on “Demockracy

  1. Will you be Meteor 2020’s running mate for VP?

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