From History to Tea to Insanity

America has descended into madness.  Okay.  So I led off with the obvious.  But this is more a piece on how it got there.

Rewind the clock a little under a decade.  Anyone remember what was going on then?  America was electing its first ever Black president.  It was a heady moment.  Ground breaking, history making.

Now there are mixed feelings about Obama even on the left so I’m not going to go deeply into discussing that.  I personally thought he was the best President that America had in my lifetime, and one of the best of all time, but to each their own. I don’t expect “purity” in politicians and am bewildered by people who do.

Let’s talk about the other side though. He defeated McCain, and what we thought at the time was the worst person possible to be one heart attack away from the Oval office in Sarah Palin.  A sigh of relief was breathed, as the craziest (to date) possibility was avoided.


(With her kids, you think she’s rethinking birth control. She’s not.)

Hit the fast forward button.  What’s the logical response to being defeated by a black man?  If you said “Wait, why does it matter that he’s black?” then you weren’t a member of the people who “rose up” to “take their country back.”  you know what I’m talking about.

The Tea Party.  Emboldened by a petulant marshmallow white Republican group of Congressmen, these looney-toons started rallying and carrying on like civil war reenactment actors but with Orange Pekoe headwear.


(we need boiling water. Stat.)

Now it was of course, all about the “Economy.” Of course it was!  I was about taxes and spending, and big government and taxes and debt and deficit* and taxes.  That’s all it was about!  it really… really…

oh, fuck that noise.  We know what it was about.  Racism.  Flat out blatant in your face racism.  Which of course they denied until they were blue (well.. reddish really)  in the face. It’s almost like they left no trace… or… evidence that…

nope. Can’t finish that sentence either.

*(no, they didn’t know the difference between deficit and debt. Still don’t.)


(photo credit kind of obvious.)


So what happened?  Right wing Republicans lost seats to Right-right-right-wing lunatics.  Any last vestiges of sane Republicanism diminished.* They became about one thing and one thing only. Stop the black man.  It was the most petulant and obstructionist congress of all time.  Turtle face McConnell said it himself. Their goal was to deny Obama a second term. Not a thing about governing.  Just taking their undersized balls and going home.

Then came 2008.  A clown car of Candidates for Republicans was set upon the nation including Herman Cain, Michelle Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, the two Rickies in Santorum and Perry.  But they went with the (relatively) reasonable choice of Mittens Romney.  Fairly level-headed, other than dog care issues and flopping more than a fish in an inch of water. So that was it then, right? Romney was not the Tea Party preference, although they voted for him anyways.  They’d vote for a bucket of Ronald Regan piss if it were the red candidate.  But… the Tea Party was dead!

(*Yes, there was sane conservatism.  Not necessarily something I’d agree with, but not certifiable batshit.)


tea party dead

(if ever there was a grave to piss on…)


But nope.  Fast forward again. The tea party “disappeared.” But it was more of a magic trick than a death.  They stopped calling themselves the tea party.  They just called themselves Republicans.  It became more normal to be abnormal.  And by the next election it wasn’t a clown car, but a clown bus.  There was not one person on the primaries that was remotely close to reasonable or didn’t make your heart stop at the thought of them in office.*

I don’t need to recount what happened. We all know.  America is now 265 days into its waking unending nightmare.  And we all miss the tea party.

Because they didn’t die.  They went further right.  MORE insane. MORE racist. Say what you want about the Tea Party (stupid, racist motherfuckers) but this didn’t happen with them.

(* Except Jeb. But that’s only because nobody noticed Jeb was on the stage.)


(seen here, Republicans explaining that it’s about economic anxiety)

And After the election.


(with that much grease, all we needed was one of them to trip…)


Long story short, which I never do because I like to talk and typing is a form of talking and I talk to much as it is but I can’t stop and I don’t even have to pause for breathing when I type…

Long story short, The Tea Party was a harbinger, not a movement.  It wasn’t a group that was defeated.  It was just the starting Charmander of the White Supremacist Pokemon.

Same excuses. Socialism. Taxes. Economic anxiety.  Sorry, not excuses. Lies.  But three times the racism.  It went from really racist people with some level of deniability in their own heads, to FUCKING NAZIS.

Trump is a symptom.  A sore on a leper. A pus filled carbuncle on the unwashed scrotum of republicanism.  (yeah, sorry, I dry heaved too.)  Now it would be easy for any of them to dismiss my commentary because I’m Canadian.  But here’s the reality.  Trump stink has crossed our border.  There is actually a #MCGA hashtag on twitter. Canadians buying the Trump level of fuckery.  Hey, Canada has always had racists, I don’t claim innocence up here.  But a miasma of hate and mean-spirited selfish bigotry is increasing here too.


There is only one thing left to do.  Well, Trump may make it happen anyways.  But this is our solution.


May Zeus take mercy on us.


(Plus side, I don’t have to worry about dieting anymore.)



Smartassicus out!

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